have you ever had the feeling that there was something more for you?. more to life than just the mundane life you’ve been living? I have always thought this about my life.. It’s not so much my life has been boring, so much as it’s the activities i’ve chosen to invest my time in that haven’t had any meaning or lead me anywhere. Whew!!! what a revelation to admit that you’ve been wasting your life doing just existing. Thats the exact reason I started my blog. motivating factors lead me here to be honest.
i spent 15+ years in corporate america knowing I never fit in, all the while trying to. you know…. hoping to meet the right people and get the right positions to turn into a career. soon as i’d leave work my true self could be free . All my days i spent slipping away on the inside, because I was too afraid to make a change. There’s comfort in being Able to pay all your bills and put food on the table, Please don’t get me wrong… But there is nothing comfortable about living a lie and shunning your purpose.
For Years This Went On, I’d Go Through Bouts Of Depression & Losing Weight . It Was All Too Much Just To Avoid happiness. I wanted a change but i didn’t think I knew how to survive without the safety net of a job. one of my favorite quotes By Anais Nin sums it up perfectly, it goes : And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom… i was always repeating this to myself But never doing anything to blossom..
in june of 2017 i found out i was pregnant and I had my son in january. I knew that I would get maternity leave but deep down i knew i would either have to find a new job or return to my position once my leave was over… The time away from work although generous didn’t feel long enough and it seemed to fly by. No matter how much i prepared myself mentally I just wasn’t ready to leave my baby. I didn’t know how i was going to go back to work weeks after having him.I applaud Mamas who do it i struggled so hard with the thought of leaving him.Having PPD was also another factor that contributed to my not wanting to return. I was scared of leaving my son in anybody’s care. there was a lot going on in my mind and my body that i hadn’t coped with. I knew working would only fuel the pain, so i had to resign. It took about 6-8 months after my son was born for me to gain control over mommy life.
I was able to work from home at one point . I was happy about that because that meant i could be with my son. but unfortunately That job started giving me the same feeling of hopelessness and once the season slowed down i left. as you can see i was doing too much.. But all i wanted was to be with my baby. I didn’t want anyone else doing the loving and caring for him. i wanted to be the one to do it as his mother.
i put myself out there again because truth be told, Homegirl was broke… I needed to provide for my baby boy. I applied for literally 200 positions. No barks.. no bites. not one employer approached me. i couldn’t believe it… I guess i spent so much time putting out into the universe that i didn’t want to work in a corporate setting. that the universe reciprocated my energy. these are those real talks that i have with myself in the mirror at 3am… when i’m awake and my child is sleeping and i know i should be too..But it was true i was putting that energy out and thats exactly what i received back.
from then on I was intent on forging my own path. Doing whatever i needed to do within my gifts to create the life my son deserves. i consider myself pinterest Enthusiast, it is my absolute favorite downtime activity besides blogging. I would always see how-to start-a blog, mom-blogs, mommy-blogging, how- to-start- a- mom- blog. I kept overlooking it. With the attitude that it wasn’t for me or it wouldn’t work out. however i found myself doing extensive research on mom blogging all the time though… like it was calling to me. I found that many moms are bloggers and have been able to create the means to be at home and raise their children. Mom-Preneurs is what they are called.
I saw all these moms just like me that are doing this. it dawned on me that if they can do it I can do it too. Then i thought deeper. I have always been creative and expressive. I have always loved to write be it with a pen and paper, on my laptop, a letter, an essay I absolutely love to it! Could i do this? Should I do this? This isn’t a get rich quick scheme, this requires consistency. it’s crazy not to think about the drawbacks. i am aware of they exist. i just don’t choose to focus on them.
as a new blogger it can be hard and it can be overwhelming just wanting to do everything right to make sure your blog is up to par. you’ll notice all the top mommy bloggers say you have to know your reason for wanting to do this. Because the reasons are where the success lies. My son is my reason an god gave me all the tools to make this happen. So here i am. Putting my thoughts out there. Knowing i may not be some people’s cup of tea . And thats alright with me. I’m not getting stuck on the outcome… My blog came to be out of sheer determination to create a better life for my son and i. Isn’t that what every mom wants? To provide a life their children deserve? I’m not any different.maybe I’ll be successful Maybe I won’t. but i’d never know if i didn’t try. I’m already winning based on that fact. In life You gotta believe in something and go after it wholeheartedly.. i realize god entrusted me with this beautiful soul and i know it’s my duty to give him the life he was born to live. i’ve got to hustle to make that happen!. i know that through working hard Anything is possible!