Before I was blessed to become a mother I would always see women out and about with their children and think to myself OMG it looks so easy and fun. Now don’t get me wrong it is so much fun but in no way is it easy. From the moment you bring your little bundle of joy home, any moment of ease no longer exists. Before the baby you think you know who you are, You’re sure of yourself. But the minute your significant other is off to work and that lil munchkin is staring at you and you’re staring back at them, You begin to think oh god I don’t know what to do.
My son was a wonderful chill infant. He really only cried hard when he was hungry or wet which is typical of most babies. I found myself just trying to tip toe around him because when he became upset i felt extremely overwhelmed. On top of trying to recover from the csection i had I was just totally outside of myself outside of my comfort zone. probably a few days after having him i began feeling sad crying everyday at the drop of a dime. I learned that i was suffering from post-partum depression.
You hear about PPD or know someone who has have suffered from it. But You never think it could happen to you until it does . that was the case with me, didnt see it coming until it hit me like a ton of bricks. even now i think back and wonder How could I have been so sad. i believe it was deeper than that. For me it wasn’t that I didn’t love my baby i was in doubt of my ability able to care for him as a first time mom And overwhelmed by my family worrying about me being a new mom. Literally just scared of any and everything.
I was afraid to be alone with him in fear of not knowing what to do it was just really scary for me in the beginning. I went to therapy But it still took time to get to a place where I felt like me again. I just tried to immerse myself in my son hoping that being his mother would cure me. Fast forward a year later and I am now starting to feel like my old self again. Of course for a lot of us women it can take a lot longer , I’m not suggesting there is an overnight cure. But what I am saying is that by being his mommy and doing all the day to day caring for him I felt needed. and in feeling needed it helped me to see that I needed to be the best mom i could be for him and the best person i could be for myself.
its simple… self care Mama. As moms we get caught up in the everyday and don’t stop to take time for us, because our children are our top priority. that can cause us to get into a routine of self neglect. its not about being selfish, its about being the best version of yourself that you can possibly be for your child. i’m still learning that in caring for myself I am caring for my son Because he needs me at my absolute best. even if i don’t feel good or if I’m tired he just knows that he needs his mommy. I have to leave all my crap at the door and step into my role as his mother. I’m diving back into things i loved to do before I had my son. I’ve been able to see that not only can i give all my love to my baby but there is also room for the things I love too.
He has shown me that i am strong and can achieve all the things i set my mind to.just from bringing him into the world i know i can accomplish anything. caring for yourself means caring for your child. If you feel like you’ve failed today YOU can to start over tomorrow and keep striving to be better. this is the hardest job in the world but definitely the most worth it. I wish all moms especially new moms love and happiness. Be gentle and kind to yourself you are doing a great job Mama!